Workplace Rape

Does the following scenario resonate with you?

Your telephone rings and the CFO are on the line.  He is reviewing a demand analysis that you have been working on for a new technology acquisition.  The first statement after you say hello is, “What the #$*!@ are these numbers? They make no sense.  You idiot.”

You are in a meeting and there is a discussion about a series of set-backs to a new product launch.  The CEO and Vice President ask a series of questions and each response is direct, but you consistently are not identifying a single individual; rather, the team and its process for developing a solution.  After the meeting, you are debriefing with the senior leader and she says, “Why didn’t you name names!  We throw people under the bus here.”

Emotional and verbal abuse in the workplace is not uncommon. There is a point at which verbal abuse, poor management style, or a lack of leadership goes too far; and the attack becomes detrimental to the physical and emotional health of the staff person.  It is at this point that workplace abuse becomes rape. 

Rape is forced.  It is unwanted.  It is all about power – the power of one individual over another.  Rape doesn’t necessarily include force; the threat is as strong or stronger then violence.  During the rape itself, victims will saw they felt powerless against their attacker.  As a verb, the dictionary definition includes “…to plunder; despoil; to seize, take, or carry off by force.”

Inherent in the definition is that permission is not given.  The force, the power, the fear of the aggressor is apparent.  In the workplace, when an individual is in a place of power – by ownership, by organizational structure, by their own assumption and positioning; and, their comments and actions move far and above common dialogue and supervision the act of rape begins.

The violence begins with brief comments and sidebar conversations.  When this escalates, it isn’t the professionalism or quality of their work that is in question.  It all becomes personal. 

You are walking pass the CEO’s door and it is closed.  You hear the CEO yelling, “G-d dam.  What do I pay them for?  (Name) does nothing and is stealing each time they get paid.  (Name) can’t do anything.”

Day in and day out, the constant barrage of insults on both work and personal characteristics overtakes the worker.  If these acts continue for an extended period of time, your feeling of self-worth and motivation to perform are diminished.  Ultimately, the emotional abuse affects your physical health.

The rape victim is fearful of reporting their rapist for fear of additional attacks.  Deming and modern organizational behavior theorists tout the need to drive fear out of the workplace and encourage open communication and dialogue.  The rapists doesn’t allow for this.  Their belief is the behavior and actions are permissible because of their financial or organizational position.

The rape victim is fearful of reporting the act and  initiating legal action.  There are countless cases of the victim being blames.  In the workplace, the quality of their work, their engagement, their knowledge all becomes the reason for their attacker’s actions.  Blaming the victim can become relatively easy in the workplace if the culture has grown supportive – either understanding or by reasoning, of these actions.

There is not a timeline for healing following rape.  The rape victim may not be able to seek help for the rape.  Rape will come through in other clinical manifestations – eating problems, headaches, pain.  There may be confusion or significant changes in the victim’s emotional state.  Victims may cry, feel numb, be nervous, or have erratic sleep.  For the individual in the workplace, these conditions are all the same.  The fear of loosing your job stops being important; the rapist has caused physical and emotional behavior that becomes grounds for dismissal.

The vast majority of states are employment at will.  Ownership and leadership creates a unique wall around behavior and culture.  There is no rape kit for workplace rape.  There typically employee manuals, codes of conduct, human resources tools that create the guard rails to prevent workplace rape and how to respond and/or report infractions when they occur.  In reality, providing proof is difficult and enforcement even more difficult.

It may come down to understanding how much you, as an individual, can take.  Asking yourself, “How much can I take?” is more often then not associated with the role, your economic status, age, and gender.  The result of workplace rape is loosing yourself – loosing your confidence, your drive, and your energy.  The qualities and characteristics that made you a unique, dependable member of the team slowly dissipate.  It’s at that point the workplace rapist wins.  Termination is inevitable.

Mary McCarthy wrote, “In violence, we forget who we are.”  There is no winner in workplace rape.  The rapist, if left uncontrolled, continues his/her behavior for a lifetime. 

Why the hell did we ever think you could be a manager?  You aren’t performing.  Sales are down.  It’s your fault.  Dividends wont happen this quarter thanks to you and your #$*&^ leadership.  I could do that job in a second.  $*((+_@# anyone could do that job. 

The victim, left powerless and weak, will never return if not supported and begin to understand it is not their fault. The victim is not to blame.  The value the victim brought to the enterpirse and their position in the workplace is still present.  When the victim truly believes it is not their fault, they are not “idiots,” “stupid,” etc., the healing can begin.