Teamwork Shouldn’t Be A Game of “He Said/She Said”

There are days if you could just forgo on or two team meetings, the day would be SO much better.  Our culture has wrapped its arms around teams tightly and will not let go.  We form teams to respond to problems, the need for change, or to determine what to purchase the boss for their birthday.  Our focus on teams over the last two decades has been bereft of the skills and competencies of teamwork, team leadership, and team participation.

The guise of team often masks the presence of a benevolent dictatorship, monarchy, or fearful leader.  Participation on a team like this is akin to playing “He Said/She Said.”

He said:  “I think we need to look at how our senior team is structured.”

What he meant was, “Why don’t you report to me?”

She said, “I cannot get my colleagues to join in my vision for the organization.”

What she meant was, “If my colleagues don’t report directly to me, they will not comply with my vision.”

He said, “We need team building experiences; maybe we need to bring in a consultant to improve how we work together as team.”

What he meant was, “I want to bring in a third party that will explain to all of you that you need to learn to follow the leader.”

The actions following these comments is characterized by an overabundance of criticism, leaders missing meetings or allowing conflicts to easily overtake planned team meetings, and/or sensing there is a hidden agenda accompanying communications.  Warranted or not, these actions result in derailed meetings or inability to achieve the objective.  The focus on “my” agenda takes control; by masking it within a context of lack of responsibility, absence of accountability, inability to share a common vision or mission, or “they just don’t understand me,” is a sham.

Removing the mask finds a leader or team member that is fearful being discovered as lacking specific knowledge.  The admission is not wrong; being fearful is.

Removing the façade is like a clique light focused on the in ability to positively interact with others.  If the skills of influencing others, collaboration, or collegiality are absent, the poor team interaction quickly will be adopted as a cover.

Once listed, what is left is an individual whose investment or belief in their agenda is perceived as greater than the objective or goal.  Here again, grasping the perception of correctness is symptomatic of fear.

The ability to right the team’s course is difficult.  We all have heard the stories of David and Goliath, Jack and Beanstalk, and the Little Engine That Could for generations as examples of the small overtaking the large.  The dominance displayed by the individuals we have described may be demonstrated as aggressive behavior.  In those situations where the behavior is feigned interest, collegiality, or caring, the courage to right the team’s course is even greater.

Life within a world of teams is a given.   How we accomplish our tasks within the world is our option.   The possibility of righting the course through mentoring, coaching, or guiding is a viable option only when these strategies are accepted.  If the barriers that formed the mask are not dealt with directly, any change is short lived and the return of the original behavior will be lurking.

The aggressive, dominant team leader or team member is formidable.  If their talent enables them to hide undercover, thereby masking the underlying cause, others begin to perceive this individual as the victim and those unwilling to succumb to the aggressor as perpetrators.  For these members of the team, if they lack the courage necessary, they will eventually be consumed with helplessness.

It may be fear; it possibly is a greater than real sense of self-worth.  Caused by a lack of skill or skillful master of hiding behind a false sense of collaboration, the result is a team unable to achieve its goals or objectives.  Tasks are overtaken by a misguided sense of personal value.

Teams that fall victim to aggressive, dominant behavior become black holes on a day’s agenda.  Over time, the short-term wins are overshadowed by the disease affecting the team.  Days filled with these meetings ultimately take their toll and result in performance and individuals who suffer fatigue.

There were days Jack and David felt burdened by the weight of the Giant and Goliath.  Their triumph became fodder for folklore centuries old.  Isn’t it time to rewrite these fables with our modern versions of overcoming the dominant, aggressive leader or colleague?

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